Adult Bullies VS Child Bullies
Originally posted May 07, 2014
Adult Bullies VS Child Bullies
We all remember those couple of kids from our youth as early as kindergarten that bullied other kids relentlessly. No one really liked him/her but he/she still had “friends”. Not real friends like you and me but the kind that decided if you can’t beat them you better just join them. These friends talked behind the bullies back but would never admit it to their face. From just a young age these kids were learning how to be two-faced. You might ask, why? Just so, they can protect themselves from the wrath of the bully. However, this decision didn’t make life any easier for the kids. No one else liked them because they were guilty by association or because the bully leader had them say & do things they didn’t want to. If that wasn’t bad enough the bully didn’t treat them good half the time either. It was not that the bully was a terrible friend but could be overbearing, rude, dramatic, and most of all self absorbed. Still, those few kids would cling to the bully forming a gang, choosing to live the bully lifestyle than to stand up because it seemed easier and came with a sense of power.
Soon, they would learn how to harden their hearts to “haters” and continue to try and control others through bullying.
Before long, the friends of the bullies who once felt bad and guilty about their choice now find themselves becoming a complete bully themselves. They still know it’s wrong but the leader makes them feel so cool and important! They just don’t want to lose their power but most of all do not want to become a target of their leader… I mean friend. Now, they find themselves gossiping about people, starting rumors, harassing and frightening others. Eventually, the leader bully and his friends will start to have power issues. One or two things always happen. One, the leader puts his foot down that he/she rules this gang or the leader and co-bullies go head to head and eventually become enemies. Unfortunately, it’s rare to see the co-bullies change their lifestyle. Instead, they tend to form new bully gangs.
Harassing each other and pulling innocent people into their mix.
As you know, most bullies do not happen overnight. Nice people don’t wake up one morning and say,” I think I’ll become a bully and live my life hurting people.” All bullies have a history. There’s several different reasons why someone becomes a bully. Here at R.I.S.E. & Stand we find With child, it’s generally because they are getting bullied outside of school, possibly even at home. Once you have lived a certain way for a long time no matter what the reason, it’s hard to change, Especially without outside help. Do bullies know their bullies? We think so. How can no one not see they are causing more trouble for people than good? Or they like to gossip and spread rumors about people a little too much. We’re not happy to say that when these bullies come to a realization instead of seeking help, most justify why they do what they do. Some use sarcasm or humor to try and cover up their behavior. Others play a blame game and some choose pure denial.
Whatever it may be they continue to go on living the life as a bully.
It’s sad to say that most child bullies grow to become adult bullies, setting a poor example for their child or any youth around them. Adult bullies have had years of practice manipulating, conniving, lying, and belittling others. They have learned just how to take charge and use others, trampling people under the feet giving no regards to their victim’s feelings. Their narcissistic behavior makes them believe they are just being assertive. It’s a dog eat dog world! Have you ever met someone like that? Deep down however, deep deep down the bully still knows his/her behavior is wrong. The bullies are usually lonely, sad, and miserable. Most adult bullies will pretend they have this wonderful great life! They like to talk about others that are beneath them. In fact, they go out of their way to prove others are not as good as they are. These types of adult bullies finds ways to escape their loneliness by doing the one thing they know that makes them feel good and powerful, talking about or belittling others. Rather they do it through a blog online, or through social gatherings the nasty deed will be done and some poor soul falls victim. Unlike childhood bullying which consisted of some name-calling, pushing and hair pulling, adult bullies play really dirty. Mere gossip is not enough for them. They want to drag people through the mud. These bullies will spend valuable time searching for skeletons in their victim’s closet, stalking them for ammo, and even reaching out to people the victim personally knows or works with for juice. Then, when the bully is satisfied with what he/she has collected they announce their findings in a big way!!
You can guarantee they will also add to the truth, dramatize the situation, and throw in a nice layer of manipulation to get people to applaud them for their “good work”. After their victim is devastated, they won’t stop there. Unless someone makes a stand or the bully is seen for what he/she is you can bet that bully will continue to shame, stalk and harass until the victim can’t take it anymore. Unfortunately, the bullies heart is so hardened by now and they have justified themselves so much that even after the victim does something drastic to end the bullying, the bully still doesn’t feel guilty or in the wrong. Nine times out of ten we see the bully say after their victim committed suicide or attempted, “I told you they were crazy!” The bully places even more blame on their victim. R.I.S.E. & Stand begs you. Please do not become a bully! Please stop bullying behavior in your children. Adults set good examples. If you find yourself acting like a bully or you notice you have some of the mentioned behavior do not feel ashamed to seek help. Equally important, if you see someone being bullied or gossiped about stand up for that person. We’re asking everyone to pledge to rise and stand against bullying with us! You can pledge with us in two ways.